Sunday, May 6, 2012
And on to my mother.
My mother was a remarkable woman. Very liberated for her time. I feel she was a very old soul. She was born with a defective heart valve. It was so bad that the Doctors insisted she would not make it past her teens. But to live that long she had to not go to school or indulge in any other type Strain on her heart. The doctor advised against marrying, having kids or a job.
When she was 16, her father went into the hospital, he was dieing. Not sure I ever heard why. Anyway, there they are in the hospital. My grandmother in with her hubby, my grandfather and my Mother was talking to the Doctor in the hall. During that conversation my mother collapsed. The doctor pronounced her dead, no heart beat at all. From my understand she was taken to the morgue. She believed she was gone somewhere between 10-15 minutes when she Woke up. This is what she remembers.
She was laying down on the floor so she got up. Realizing as she turned that she was still laying on the floor. There was a light, faint at first then as she started towards it, it grew in brightness. She was drawn into it like a moth to a flame. (her words) She floated upward as the light grew in brightness. It was like no other light she had ever seen. Like a living entity. Consuming, loving, nurturing. It encased her in a presence of such love that she said we would have no concept of how all encompassing pure love is. It encircled and was also a part of her, no beginning and no end. She fought to get to the point of the lights origin. As she reached her destination she was told she had more to do and must return. My mother didn't want to leave. But as the last word was sent her way, she was hurled back to earth and into her body. Then, with a breath she woke up.
My mother has always saw spirits and faeries. She communicated with them. She was at home there. She however wasn't at home with children. Not sure why. She loved working. She was very smart and finished high school at age 15. She was told she could jump 4 grades but her parents didn't want her out of school at such a young age. So she only jumped two grades. My grandparents were very old fashioned. disliking anyone not like them. Women were to be house wives, nurses or secretaries. Although my mother became a housewife she wasn't comfortable there. She also got a job as a secretary at GM. There she worked as long as she could each day. She dropped us at a sitters at 6AM and usually came back at 6:00 to 6:30 PM. 5-7 days a week. She loved working or maybe she just loved not being a mother during those hours. Later in life she commented to me how proud she was that I was such a good mother and was so domestic, stating I didn't get it from her.
My mom came from old school thoughts, dislike for those not like themselves. Her dad I think was the one behind that, as my grandmother was a nature creature and a hedge witch, he wasn't. But my mother took a different path she was not prestigious, nor did she feel women should be stifled in schooling or work choices. Her words to us girls were, “Don't let anyone hold you down, you can be anything you want to be.”
From my mother I got:
Stand up for what you believe in.
Never take a place as a back seat anything.
Become what you are not what others what you to be.
And the last most important is Dying is not an end, it is a beautiful beginning. And, I can hardly wait!