Friday, May 4, 2012

Lessons From my Father Part 2

The second memorable lesson was around his time of death. I had come to pick Dad up to join my mother when we found he had an heart attack. He was then  rushed to the hospital. The Doctor was there when he arrived, as was I. He was still speaking. In fact it was his last words ever on this earth.

When I saw him coming in I told him "everyone is on the way. Please don't  go Dad, I still want more time. "

The heart felt words from a woman who after being a CNA long enough should of known better. Never, never pressure someone to stay.

Anyway his words were simple

"Just fucking deal with it, You have no idea how much I hurt."

I cried. I still cry thinking about it.

But he was right. I had no idea what he was going through as far as pain. I found out later from the Doctor that he had been in horrible pain for over 20 years at that time. He never let on. We come in alone and we go out alone. We have no rights on another. We have no excuse for trying to hold captive another for our own selfish needs. I just didn't want to loose him. I personally was not ready.

So my  Lessons from my father were

Give space and if needed a way to leave without feeling guilty.
Never strike without first weighing the consequences.
Think, no one is perfect but don't settle for less than everything you want in a mate.

I found that perfect man two and a half years ago. But work on the other two everyday. I am not perfect but I am trying to be better each and every day

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