Friday, May 4, 2012
Lessons from my Father part 1
"If you feel you are ready to kill yourself, Go ahead, who am I to stop you. I ask just one thing, wait two weeks."
Harsh! Cold! You might think so from an outsiders view. But he wasn't. He was a loving misunderstood man. Only in the last few years have I realized what I had taken as mean was in fact quite enlightened. Anyway, how he and I had gotten to this statement is this.
I was in an abusive marriage (My first Marriage of seven) Dan During that relationship I was punched, held at gun point, Locked in closets, thrown from a car and thrown into a window. Any way He was on a rampage and I was running. Both in cars. I was headed to my parents house with him directly behind. The car barely stopped and I was running for the house with my youngest in my arms. She was about a year old. My dad heard me screaming as I ran towards the door, He was coming out shot gun in hand. Mind you my father was always a peaceful man. He had warned me this man wasn't for me before I married but of course I knew better. Any way He cocked the gun and aimed it at Dan's head. He simply said, "Don't make me son." Dan Ran. After calming down he told me this had to quit. I looked hopelessly into his eyes crying I said, "Maybe I should just Kill myself, I'd be better off dead." God, even now that time in my life has a great charge to it. I cry whenever I think of it.
This is where his sentence came it. I then told him he was heartless. He looked at me and said let me explain. I had a friend who said he was going to kill himself, things were that bad for him . he was loosing his wife, his house, his kids, and his car was already repo'ed. He asked me if I saw any lining, frankly I didn't see any hope at all. Later that day he hung himself. Well tow weeks later he received a letter, in it it stated he is grandfather had died and left him his money and property. This man would of never had to work again. So wait two weeks if you still feel that way then do what your heart tells you. Just think of yourself, don't worry about your little girl who would be left with then man who was hurting you. Heavy!
The picture is from that time and it is me at the Detroit Zoo early 1970's